Final Post—Joseph

Sharon Olds has provided a gateway for some others to express themselves.  In this work, Stag's Leap, she has given completely raw and true information.  Her marriage became a miscarried child for they did not treat it the way they should have.  Sharon realizes that it was not all her fault that her husband left her.  She knows that there is a bit of both of them in this marriage and it just so happens that he just wasn't completely in it.

I tink that it was interesting for her to title the work Stag's Leap because of their favorite wine.  It is a beautiful metaphor.  In Christian metaphors, the wine can represent blood which can signify the hurt she experienced through this marriage.  They shared the wine, so it connects them, but at the same time, wine can be—what's the word?  Exhausted.  It won't last forever.  Someone get's the last drink.  She never had the opportunity to realize that her glass was empty and there was no more in the bottle.

It was over, and there's no money to bring it back.

It's all over.  She became someone new, and someone out of love.

—Joseph

Joseph: Spring

Okay, so Spring is mostly consisting of other aspects of her marriage such as her children or things that originated out of the marriage.  She explains that there are times when she wants to quit and fail.  She wants to allow herself to fail.  I can see where she gets this.  When things, such as finals and stress, come upon me, it seems like it all comes at once.  Such as this week, finals week, there is so much that I decide is okay because it's finals week.  I say that it's okay to sleep a little more because it's finals week.  However, it does not necessarily help me all the time.  Sometimes it ends up hurting me more.

It's times like these when I decide that I would almost WANT to fail.  Why? Because then maybe it'll show me something new.  I've never really failed at anything before except sports, but that doesn't count.  It's not something I care deeply about.  If I were to fail a music class, I would die.  But it would show me something new, I would hope.  I'm a very firm believer in "Everything happens for a reason."  As Sharon continues on in these poems, I think that she begins to have that process as well.  Everything happens so that something else can come about.  Something was in the way so it needed to be eliminated.

Sharon is hurt, and she finds herself hoping that she's not the one doing the damage.  In her dreams, she might want to fight and hurt, but in reality she hopes that that's not something that's coming about from all of this.  She tries to be the bigger person.  I think a lot of that comes from her ability to be analytical.  It gives her the opportunity to step back and make a decision based on everything—she can make a decision for the masses of people that will benefit them over herself.

—Joseph

Joseph: Winter

Sharon Olds uses the seasons, sometimes months, to help her overall analogy of her life and its ruins that was left after her husband explained that he was in love with another woman.  This winter season that is her second collection of poems in this work is used as a frost that comes over her.  She explains in her poem "Love" that how could it be that they were not in love?  She analyzes everything about her marriage even to the very beginning.  And then I think that she does a fantastic job using absolutely random and relevant facts.

I say that she uses random and relevant facts because it's true.  I don't know, after thirty years, that anyone would be thinking in their right mind at this point.  However, there are things that stick out to us—there are different specific things that our subconscious decides that it's something we have to remember.  Sharon brings forth some of these factors in her writing.  I think this adds the the mind set that she has when she is going through this heartbreak.

Heartbreak—that's something we talked about as a group, as well. We don't necessarily think that they got married because they were in love.  Of course, we're sure that they enjoyed each other to some extent and were romantic with it (obviously) but when she explains that she told her mother, it is almost as if the mother had been encouraging the marriage from the beginning. The woman was more heartbroken, it seemed as Sharon explained, than Sharon herself.  This was a big event that we talked about in our group meeting for this work.

It would make sense that she loved him logically.  I think that's why the poem "Love" is so prominent in this part.  It provides the over-analyzation of Sharon and her mind.  She might have married him and fallen in love with him because it was logical.  It was the right thing to do.

Unfortunately, I find a lot of myself in this articular section.  I analyze things such as this, and I will admit that I have gotten into relationships because it was the logical thing to do.  Because I liked them, but it was never really everything I really wanted.  I always wanted someone else more.

However, Sharon does try to keep him.  She loves him.  Perhaps, after the fact, she fell in love with him.  Perhaps she fell in love with him because he was no longer hers.  Because he was now leaving and she had to keep him somehow.  Regardless, the snow melted away to reveal something else quite beautiful, she says.

—Joseph

Joseph: January—December

This collection of poetry is amazing.  There is something about Sharon Olds' raw emotion.  She begins the work off with this section of poems (there are six sections hence the bog title)titled "January—December" and she tells the audience about her experience with her husband leaving her.  In our group meetings, we decided that she was a bit in shock and disbelief.  After thirty years of marriage, I would be, too.  At least, that's what I would think.  I'm not even thirty yet, and the only thing that has been there all of my years is my family, and if they left, I don't even know what would happen.  I wouldn't know what to do.  I think that Sharon was this way with her soon-to-be ex-husband. 

He cheated on her and she felt as if she should try to fix it.  There were nights, she explains, where they had sexual relations even after her husband told her that he was cheating on her and in love with someone else.  Our group took to this as that she was reaching out in every way she knew to bring him back.  Sharon is very analytical of her own life and she feels as if it was her that made him go elsewhere for something new and exciting.

Sharon feels in this part that if she had given him the sexual relationship that he wanted, he would not have had to go out and find another one.  It just so happens that her husband fell in love with this new woman and he is now leaving.

An interesting fact that we noted was that after he told her, she still insisted on going with him to his work Christmas party.  She explains to him that she is still his wife, and she will accompany him to this party.  Regardless, she knows of the new woman, and she just so happens to be at the work party.  We get that Sharon does not wish to do anything other than keep what she knows, in this point.

-Joseph

Taylor - Me as a reader

As a reader I am forgiving and extremely open. I pride myself in this because it sets me apart as an almost non-denomination reader who crosses the borders of genres and allows me to be very captivated by near any author who ignites a passion of their subject in their reader. This is also where I stand in Stag’s Leap because she is so captivating in her angst and desire for reasoning of her divorce. She pleads, cries, desires, forgets, and reminisces all while still pulling the reader in and allowing them to experience her emotions along with her.

This book has proven itself as substantial in explaining a women’s struggle in divorce and meshes well with how I approached this book as a reader. You have to be okay with the fact that poetry is a means of expression of forbidden thoughts through metaphor and delicate use of diction.

FINAL POST (summer)

Summer

My LAST post will be on the short section of summer. Olds reflects on her marriage and small events leading up to the divorce. I enjoyed this section because not only was it short and easy to read, but she realized that she was a strong woman and she somewhat overcame her divorce. All of the poems in this section have something to do with the ocean which symbolizes power. She is finding power and strength in herself and knowing that the divorce was not her fault.

I very much enjoyed reading this book and going through a journey with Olds and her troubles with her marriage. Although these poems were easy to read and I enjoyed reading them, I will probably never read poem as a recreational activity. I feel like with poems, you have to dig deeper and find the symbols and literary devices to find out what the author really means. Instead of a sweater being just blue, both the sweater and the color blue have significance to them and you must find the meaning to actually understand what the author would like to convey.

I liked everyone in my group and if I had to do this project again, I do not think that I would do anything different, (except for the procrastination).

-Cami

Spring

Spring

In this section of the book, Olds talks about her divorce and how she is slowly moving past the sadness and moving on with her life. She also talks about her miscarriage and how it affected her. She thinks about what they would look like and if they would look like her husband or not. You can tell that this is a very sore subject but not as sore as other things that have happened in her life.

The poem that I would like to look at is “Not Quiet Enough” I think that although she is somewhat overcoming the divorce and moving on, she still feels like it was partially her fault and that she was not good enough for him. Hence the title of the poem.

Although I am not as interested in this poem as others in this section, I wanted to write about it because it shows that she is beginning to move on and realize that in order to be happy again, she needs to understand that it was his choice and not her fault.

-Cami

Winter

Winter

This section of the book talks about her separation with her husband.

The poem that I chose to analyze is “Not Going to Him” this talks about how she cannot see him or be with her husband because he is away. At night, she thinks about a moment when he is with her and her father when he is dying and when he is in coma.  Olds describes her husband in great detail. Starting with his wrist, then his skin, saying how it was very old and “was made as if before the Christian God existed” his heels, feet, calf, pelvis, waist, chest, the scar on his neck, throat. She then gets excited when he breathes and moves. Finally, she says that “my body may never learn not to yearn for that one, or this could be a first farewell to him, a life-do-us-part.”

I am not quite sure why she described her husband in such a way that she did. Maybe this was when she thought something was going wrong? Or that she thought that he thought of her as more of a friend than a lover? I think this because she says that “my body may never learn not to yearn for that one, or this could be a first farewell to him, a life-do-us-part.” Please comment and tell me what you think!

January-December

January- December

The first set of poems in the book is about when Olds found out that her husband was having an affair and that he was leaving her. At first, I was really confused and I was not quite sure what was going on. When I finally figured out what was going on, I felt sorry for her and I wanted to comfort her. I think that the reason that I liked this book was because it had raw emotions and you knew how she felt the whole time. Olds took you through the journey of her crumbling marriage and how she got through it.

The poem that stuck out at me the most was the first poem “While He Told Me”. This is the first poem in the whole book and it is when her husband first tells her that he is having an affair. It says that she “looked from small thing to small thing in our room.” One of the things that she looked at was a postcard of a woman bending down to a lily. I looked online to see what it meant and it said that it represented female sexuality. I am not really sure what to get out of that but she also talks about how she looked at her husband’s breasts. I am not really sure why.

I picked this poem because not only did it set a mood for the whole book, but it had very raw emotions and very distinct symbols that I could look up and figure out what they meant.

-Cami Shoe

Stag's Leap intro

Hello, World.

So, for the first part of this post, I am supposed to introduce myself to the group. Hello Nicki, Taylor, and Joseph. I, as you already know, am Cami Shoe and I picked the book Stags Leap to read and blog about. I am also supposed to identify myself as a reader. So, without further ado, I would like to point out to all of you that I am, in fact, a reader.

I would like to say that I am writing this post after I read the entire book (Shame on me). When I first picked this book, I thought that it would be extremely boring and hard to read like Shakespeare. I partly picked this book because I knew that poems were not my favorite so if I had someone in my group, like Nicki, she would explain things to me about the poems and I would understand it more. I obviously was taken by surprise. This book was not only a joy to read but it was also very smooth and easy to read. I loved the style of the book and I liked the flow (sorry prof. kauf.). I will soon be writing other posts on some individual poems in different parts of the book and what I thought of them.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post!

-Cami Shoe

Joseph Delgado—Hi.

So, I'm Joseph.

Our first post is to introduce ourself to the group, even though you already know me quite well.  Hello, Nicki, Cami, and Taylor. I'm obviously the only male in the group. . . And I don't know why I just found that fact of useful substance to this post.  Regardless, with our discussions, I would like to provide that I believe we all think similarly.

. . . 

Okay, I really don't know what else to write here.  "You should use the first post to introduce yourself as a reader to the rest of the group."  OKAY.  HI I'M A READER IN YOUR GROUP.  WHATEVER.

I'm drinking tea as I write this, but I just burned my tongue, so I'm a little bitter with things right now.  So sorry.

I'm posting this after the fact of reading the book, so I would just like to say that I enjoyed working with you all and I would not have been able to understand this collection of poems without you.  I did love the work.  And I loved it even more after we discussed it.  It really hit home for me.

I think she gets it.  I think she understands that it's okay not to be okay just as long as you work toward being happy.

I'm Joseph and I'm a reader in this group.  I'm ready for Christmas Break.

-Joseph

"What's Left?" (Years Later)

            Sharon Olds’ last poem in the Stag’s Leap is entitled “What’s Left” which proses the question of where Olds’ journey will take her now.

            Olds’ begins this poem by reminiscing of the state in which she was left after her divorce: “Something like half a person” (89). Old’s continues on to relate herself to a child who with proper nurturing became an adult and growing while growing apart with her husband.

            I would like to quote the last few lines of this poem: “ We fulfilled something in each other – / I believed him, he believed me, then we/ grew, and grew, I grieved him, he grieved me, / I completed him, he completed me, we / made a cloth together, we succeeded, / we perfected what lay between him and me, / I did not leave him, he did not leave me, / I freed him, he freed me”.

            This personally is the most powerful ending in Olds’ collection because it is definite, it is a statement, and it brings a full catharsis to the collection; I would however like to argue with the statement at the previous portion of the poem when Olds says that she is no longer part of a half. I agree that Olds is her own person; but, I think of her as just a more developed half, the half she should have been the entire time. The reason Olds is still a half is because there will always be joint things between her and her ex-husband; whether that be: kids, material objects, legal titles, time, memories, and even love.  I think Olds needed to still retain independence throughout her marriage by providing herself with a sense of self worth. I’m not saying that Olds clinged to her husband because she was entirely dependent on him; I’m saying that throughout the period of their relationship they converged too much, got lost in each other, and combined themselves into one barely recognizing where one person ended and the other began. Since trust is the cornerstone in a marriage, often people cease to provide emotionally for themselves when they have someone to make them happy.  Olds has shown the audience what happens if one is too emotionally dependent on someone else which is evidence of the old colloquialism: you can’t depend on anyone but yourself.

            What the reader after completing the collection should learn form Olds is to fall in love yet maintain one’s independence. It’s easy to get caught up in romance, everyone does it, I’ve done so myself; although it is possible someone for someone to fulfill one’s needs, but they don’t know how long this will last; it could be a week, five and a half months, or in thirty years. The reader should also learn to forgive; pain only occurs when one continues to gouge the wound. Be independent. Be forgiving. Free yourself from the situation. One should take my advice promptly. 

            - Nicki Clifford

"Crazy" (Fall)

                In the second Fall section, the poem “Crazy” is the first direct statement that Olds’ catharsis is occurring: “And maybe what he had for me was/ unconditional, temporary/ affection and trust, without romance,/  through with fondness – with mortal fondness. There was no / tragedy for us, there was/ the slow-reveled comedy /of ideal and error” (65). This poem, unlike the rest, is direct in terms of what Olds is trying to say about her marriage. Olds informs the reader that it is ok that her relationship didn’t work out; she will move on.

Olds also accepts the beginning and end of cycles when she says: “The morning and the evening came” (65). Both the morning and the evening are equal in this sentence; the end and the start. Healing has taken place.

“Bruise Ghazal” is another poem in the fall section that shows Olds healing; quite literally in fact. Again, Olds mentions a bruise (symbolic of her marriage) and how she looks forward to the rotting colors. She also mentions: “You were born to heal./ Sleep and dream – but not of his return / Since you cannot harm him, wound him, in your dream”(67). Olds who was once ashamed of thinking that she was the reason for him to leave now seems not to care if herself was a factor and she subsequently wants vengeance.

“Discandied” is another example of Olds catharsis. In summary, she mentions that her husband used to hide almond chocolate bars in the house and whenever she felt sad, he would give one to her. Now finding that he failed to remove the candies when he moved out, instead of indulging herself in what she used to love, Olds throws them away; simply, she no longer needs the comfort of her husband.

The entire second Fall section contrasts greatly with the first in the tone and nature of the poems. Olds transforms from being depressed and in denial to being strong and accepting the end of her relationship; Olds is now in control of her own life. I will post about the Years Later section promptly.

-Nicki Clifford

"Tiny Siren" (Summer)

                The potion of Summer in Stag’s Leap is set at the August rental that they both shared during their marriage that Olds now journeys to alone. This is a short section reflecting on their marriage’s small actions, unlike the Spring section that focused on large events.

“Tiny Siren” is the last poem in this section that discusses when Olds found a picture of the woman her husband was currently cheating on her with in the laundry a year ago. The title alludes to the Greek mythological Sirens who were beautiful woman-like creatures that caused men to stray form their course and crash into the fatal rocks. Olds makes the connection to call this woman a siren because she lead her husband away from his path and caused a fatal crash in their marriage.

What is interesting about this poem is Olds finally confesses that there is fault in her ex-husband for ending the marriage; she mentions this when she states: “I had not known he knew how to lie” (57). Olds finally takes some of the blame form herself and admits that her husband is a liar; this is evidence of her catharsis.

I also find it interesting that the woman in the picture was in her bathing suit. In context, the audience knows that they are at the beach rental meaning that the woman was preparing to swim in the sea; the ocean being symbolic of strength. This shows the change of affection and power her ex-husband translated from Olds to the other woman.

The use of the dash in this poem also slows the audiences speed in reading the poem that mimics Olds’ thought process when seeing the picture. The reader know that Olds is trying to make connections in seeing the photo and if her husband is telling the truth.

All of the poems in the Summer section mention the sea in some way that brings importance to the sea archetype of power. Having Olds explore the power in her old relationship and the power in herself connotes healing and empowerment. I will post about the Fall section promptly.

          - Nicki Clifford

"Not Quiet Enough" (Spring)

                In “Not Quiet Enough”, Olds reflects on her marriage in a more distant way than in her previous poems; this indicates that she is slowly getting over her divorce.

                The archetypal use of the circadian cycles and seasons are alluded to again, but in a more reflective manner when she states: “I can hardly see those nights and afternoons, anymore” (48).  The audience knows that the end of their marriage happened about six months ago and by Olds saying that she can’t vividly picture the end and the time they spent together, the audience can see that she is healing. Olds also shows her healing by mentioning that the bruise of her marriage is finally fading and that she looks forward to it’s rotting colors.

                Although Olds doesn’t feel as much pain anymore, she still blames herself for the end of her marriage; she thinks of herself as: “I the glittering panther/ holding him down, and screaming”.  Although Olds knows that the end of the marriage wasn’t entirely her fault, she still maintains a sense of shame for having her marriage turn sour.

               The Spring section in Stag’s Leap is a very reflective portion of the collection that deals more with certain events in her marriage rather than just her ex himself. She speaks of her miscarriage, vacation, the longevity of her marriage, and how her children look like her father.  There is apparent pain in her words, but somehow they are more reflective than previously; the wound isn’t as fresh.

                "French Bra" continues the motif of her breasts in this section. Olds reflects upon a french vacation where she found a beautiful french bra covered in lace that she couldn't wait to bring home to her husband and show it to him. This continues the idea of masculinity taking advantage of femininity to a point where Olds feels that parts of her belong to her partner; this idea will be useful to her when she gains her independence back.

                I am most intrigued by the poem "To Our Miscarried One, Age Thirty Now" because it may explain the reason Olds doesn't mention her children as often as I think she would. This poem describes her dead child and how her miscarriage and removal of the baby happened on the toilet. Being a touchy subject, I would imagine that Olds will always feel that pain no matter how much she talks about it, unlike writing about her husband because subconsciously she knows that she won't always suffer from that pain therefore it is easier to talk about.I will post about the Summer section promptly.

             -Nicki Clifford

"The Worst Thing" (Winter)

"The Worst Thing" by Sharon Olds communicates the experience of morning after the separation of her  and her husband. In this scene she describes driving with a male friend along the cost contemplating love and God  with many references to the ocean (symbolic of womanhood and strength).

I would first like to address the use of juxtaposition in the first three lines, Olds states: "On one side of the highway, the waterless hills/ The other, in the distance, the tidal wastes/ estuaries, bay, throat". In this case the water symbolizes strength and both sides juxtapose each other in levels of strength while Olds drives in the middle of them; this communicates that she isn't completely destroyed by the divorce, rather, she is indifferent in terms of bodily strength.

There is an increased use of the dash in lines 12-14: " what I minded was -- say there was/ a god --of love-- and I'd given -- I had meant/ to give -- my life -- to it". The use of dash here is to slow the audience in reading this because it is intended to be slow deep processing on the author's part. It is also important to notice that Olds has begun to doubt God in this section whereas before, she trusted God and his decisions. This thought is reinforced in line 21 with: "I knew there was no god".

There is an indication of healing though in this poem; Olds mentions in line 24-26 when speaking about a friend: "and the back of his hand rubbed them, a second,/ with clumsiness, with the courtesy/ of no eros, the homemade kindness". The mention of a male companion (although she says is strictly a platonic relationship) gives the audience hope that she is healing.

If the section December- January represents denial and grieving, the Winter section represents anger and a stubborn healing; by this I mean not letting herself miss the good times she had with him. This passage also expresses her frustration with God, herself, the situation, and the course of nature. The audience sympathizes with Olds as well as has hope for the situation because they can see the change bubbling inside of her. I will post about the Spring section promptly.

            - Nicki Clifford

"While He Told Me" (January-December)

"While He Told Me" is the first poem present in Stag's Leap by Sharon Olds. It describes the moment when she (Olds) found out her that her husband was having an affair. Throughout this poem, symbolic imagery sets the mood of the entire book.

Archetypal weather and light patterns are included in "While He Told Me" to signify the end of the relationship and the beginning of Olds' journey as a divorcee in pursuit of her independence. In line 10, Olds states: "I turned out the light/ he touched my face, then turned away,/ then the dark", the lack of light and darkness symbolizes the end of who they used to be as a couple and the impending separation that they'll face. This archetype of beginnings is continued in line 17: "Near sunrise, behind overcast". One should notice that the sunrise (symbol of a new beginning) is cast over by an overcast which could symbolize anything from her not accepting the truth or the impending depression she is bound to face.

It is necessary to point out the symbolic nature of flowers in this poem. In line 4, the symbolic origin of lilies is that the flower was dedicated to Hera, wife of Zeus who's tales of infidelity are omnipresent throughout ancient Greek history. Meanwhile, the tulips mentioned in line 24 symbolize perfect love; this doesn't make sense until one notes that the tulips are "stretched away from each other extreme in the old vase"; the old vase with the person praying on it symbolizing marriage.

           I chose to analyze this poem to introduce the reader to the many symbolic meanings throughout the entirety of Old's collection. Throughout the rest of the section I would like to bring to attention the amount Old's mentions of clocks, faces (and their juxtaposition to backs), Orion and other stars, and the darkness or nighttime.

             I would also like to mention "Stag's Leap" since this poem is what the collection was named after. Stag's Leap alludes to the choice wine that was Olds' and her  husband's favorite. It is a red wine is a connotation of passion and is normally paired with red meat. In this poem, Old's describes her husband as the stag and plead for him to be careful when he bounds away. This plead summarizes the mood of the first section quite nicely; she grieves for the loss of her marriage while still loving her husband. I would like the reader to consider this poem when reading the rest of the book and how Old's changes through the course of events. I will post about the Winter section promptly.

            -Nicki Clifford