"What's Left?" (Years Later)

            Sharon Olds’ last poem in the Stag’s Leap is entitled “What’s Left” which proses the question of where Olds’ journey will take her now.

            Olds’ begins this poem by reminiscing of the state in which she was left after her divorce: “Something like half a person” (89). Old’s continues on to relate herself to a child who with proper nurturing became an adult and growing while growing apart with her husband.

            I would like to quote the last few lines of this poem: “ We fulfilled something in each other – / I believed him, he believed me, then we/ grew, and grew, I grieved him, he grieved me, / I completed him, he completed me, we / made a cloth together, we succeeded, / we perfected what lay between him and me, / I did not leave him, he did not leave me, / I freed him, he freed me”.

            This personally is the most powerful ending in Olds’ collection because it is definite, it is a statement, and it brings a full catharsis to the collection; I would however like to argue with the statement at the previous portion of the poem when Olds says that she is no longer part of a half. I agree that Olds is her own person; but, I think of her as just a more developed half, the half she should have been the entire time. The reason Olds is still a half is because there will always be joint things between her and her ex-husband; whether that be: kids, material objects, legal titles, time, memories, and even love.  I think Olds needed to still retain independence throughout her marriage by providing herself with a sense of self worth. I’m not saying that Olds clinged to her husband because she was entirely dependent on him; I’m saying that throughout the period of their relationship they converged too much, got lost in each other, and combined themselves into one barely recognizing where one person ended and the other began. Since trust is the cornerstone in a marriage, often people cease to provide emotionally for themselves when they have someone to make them happy.  Olds has shown the audience what happens if one is too emotionally dependent on someone else which is evidence of the old colloquialism: you can’t depend on anyone but yourself.

            What the reader after completing the collection should learn form Olds is to fall in love yet maintain one’s independence. It’s easy to get caught up in romance, everyone does it, I’ve done so myself; although it is possible someone for someone to fulfill one’s needs, but they don’t know how long this will last; it could be a week, five and a half months, or in thirty years. The reader should also learn to forgive; pain only occurs when one continues to gouge the wound. Be independent. Be forgiving. Free yourself from the situation. One should take my advice promptly. 

            - Nicki Clifford

"Crazy" (Fall)

                In the second Fall section, the poem “Crazy” is the first direct statement that Olds’ catharsis is occurring: “And maybe what he had for me was/ unconditional, temporary/ affection and trust, without romance,/  through with fondness – with mortal fondness. There was no / tragedy for us, there was/ the slow-reveled comedy /of ideal and error” (65). This poem, unlike the rest, is direct in terms of what Olds is trying to say about her marriage. Olds informs the reader that it is ok that her relationship didn’t work out; she will move on.

Olds also accepts the beginning and end of cycles when she says: “The morning and the evening came” (65). Both the morning and the evening are equal in this sentence; the end and the start. Healing has taken place.

“Bruise Ghazal” is another poem in the fall section that shows Olds healing; quite literally in fact. Again, Olds mentions a bruise (symbolic of her marriage) and how she looks forward to the rotting colors. She also mentions: “You were born to heal./ Sleep and dream – but not of his return / Since you cannot harm him, wound him, in your dream”(67). Olds who was once ashamed of thinking that she was the reason for him to leave now seems not to care if herself was a factor and she subsequently wants vengeance.

“Discandied” is another example of Olds catharsis. In summary, she mentions that her husband used to hide almond chocolate bars in the house and whenever she felt sad, he would give one to her. Now finding that he failed to remove the candies when he moved out, instead of indulging herself in what she used to love, Olds throws them away; simply, she no longer needs the comfort of her husband.

The entire second Fall section contrasts greatly with the first in the tone and nature of the poems. Olds transforms from being depressed and in denial to being strong and accepting the end of her relationship; Olds is now in control of her own life. I will post about the Years Later section promptly.

-Nicki Clifford

"Tiny Siren" (Summer)

                The potion of Summer in Stag’s Leap is set at the August rental that they both shared during their marriage that Olds now journeys to alone. This is a short section reflecting on their marriage’s small actions, unlike the Spring section that focused on large events.

“Tiny Siren” is the last poem in this section that discusses when Olds found a picture of the woman her husband was currently cheating on her with in the laundry a year ago. The title alludes to the Greek mythological Sirens who were beautiful woman-like creatures that caused men to stray form their course and crash into the fatal rocks. Olds makes the connection to call this woman a siren because she lead her husband away from his path and caused a fatal crash in their marriage.

What is interesting about this poem is Olds finally confesses that there is fault in her ex-husband for ending the marriage; she mentions this when she states: “I had not known he knew how to lie” (57). Olds finally takes some of the blame form herself and admits that her husband is a liar; this is evidence of her catharsis.

I also find it interesting that the woman in the picture was in her bathing suit. In context, the audience knows that they are at the beach rental meaning that the woman was preparing to swim in the sea; the ocean being symbolic of strength. This shows the change of affection and power her ex-husband translated from Olds to the other woman.

The use of the dash in this poem also slows the audiences speed in reading the poem that mimics Olds’ thought process when seeing the picture. The reader know that Olds is trying to make connections in seeing the photo and if her husband is telling the truth.

All of the poems in the Summer section mention the sea in some way that brings importance to the sea archetype of power. Having Olds explore the power in her old relationship and the power in herself connotes healing and empowerment. I will post about the Fall section promptly.

          - Nicki Clifford

"Not Quiet Enough" (Spring)

                In “Not Quiet Enough”, Olds reflects on her marriage in a more distant way than in her previous poems; this indicates that she is slowly getting over her divorce.

                The archetypal use of the circadian cycles and seasons are alluded to again, but in a more reflective manner when she states: “I can hardly see those nights and afternoons, anymore” (48).  The audience knows that the end of their marriage happened about six months ago and by Olds saying that she can’t vividly picture the end and the time they spent together, the audience can see that she is healing. Olds also shows her healing by mentioning that the bruise of her marriage is finally fading and that she looks forward to it’s rotting colors.

                Although Olds doesn’t feel as much pain anymore, she still blames herself for the end of her marriage; she thinks of herself as: “I the glittering panther/ holding him down, and screaming”.  Although Olds knows that the end of the marriage wasn’t entirely her fault, she still maintains a sense of shame for having her marriage turn sour.

               The Spring section in Stag’s Leap is a very reflective portion of the collection that deals more with certain events in her marriage rather than just her ex himself. She speaks of her miscarriage, vacation, the longevity of her marriage, and how her children look like her father.  There is apparent pain in her words, but somehow they are more reflective than previously; the wound isn’t as fresh.

                "French Bra" continues the motif of her breasts in this section. Olds reflects upon a french vacation where she found a beautiful french bra covered in lace that she couldn't wait to bring home to her husband and show it to him. This continues the idea of masculinity taking advantage of femininity to a point where Olds feels that parts of her belong to her partner; this idea will be useful to her when she gains her independence back.

                I am most intrigued by the poem "To Our Miscarried One, Age Thirty Now" because it may explain the reason Olds doesn't mention her children as often as I think she would. This poem describes her dead child and how her miscarriage and removal of the baby happened on the toilet. Being a touchy subject, I would imagine that Olds will always feel that pain no matter how much she talks about it, unlike writing about her husband because subconsciously she knows that she won't always suffer from that pain therefore it is easier to talk about.I will post about the Summer section promptly.

             -Nicki Clifford

"The Worst Thing" (Winter)

"The Worst Thing" by Sharon Olds communicates the experience of morning after the separation of her  and her husband. In this scene she describes driving with a male friend along the cost contemplating love and God  with many references to the ocean (symbolic of womanhood and strength).

I would first like to address the use of juxtaposition in the first three lines, Olds states: "On one side of the highway, the waterless hills/ The other, in the distance, the tidal wastes/ estuaries, bay, throat". In this case the water symbolizes strength and both sides juxtapose each other in levels of strength while Olds drives in the middle of them; this communicates that she isn't completely destroyed by the divorce, rather, she is indifferent in terms of bodily strength.

There is an increased use of the dash in lines 12-14: " what I minded was -- say there was/ a god --of love-- and I'd given -- I had meant/ to give -- my life -- to it". The use of dash here is to slow the audience in reading this because it is intended to be slow deep processing on the author's part. It is also important to notice that Olds has begun to doubt God in this section whereas before, she trusted God and his decisions. This thought is reinforced in line 21 with: "I knew there was no god".

There is an indication of healing though in this poem; Olds mentions in line 24-26 when speaking about a friend: "and the back of his hand rubbed them, a second,/ with clumsiness, with the courtesy/ of no eros, the homemade kindness". The mention of a male companion (although she says is strictly a platonic relationship) gives the audience hope that she is healing.

If the section December- January represents denial and grieving, the Winter section represents anger and a stubborn healing; by this I mean not letting herself miss the good times she had with him. This passage also expresses her frustration with God, herself, the situation, and the course of nature. The audience sympathizes with Olds as well as has hope for the situation because they can see the change bubbling inside of her. I will post about the Spring section promptly.

            - Nicki Clifford

"While He Told Me" (January-December)

"While He Told Me" is the first poem present in Stag's Leap by Sharon Olds. It describes the moment when she (Olds) found out her that her husband was having an affair. Throughout this poem, symbolic imagery sets the mood of the entire book.

Archetypal weather and light patterns are included in "While He Told Me" to signify the end of the relationship and the beginning of Olds' journey as a divorcee in pursuit of her independence. In line 10, Olds states: "I turned out the light/ he touched my face, then turned away,/ then the dark", the lack of light and darkness symbolizes the end of who they used to be as a couple and the impending separation that they'll face. This archetype of beginnings is continued in line 17: "Near sunrise, behind overcast". One should notice that the sunrise (symbol of a new beginning) is cast over by an overcast which could symbolize anything from her not accepting the truth or the impending depression she is bound to face.

It is necessary to point out the symbolic nature of flowers in this poem. In line 4, the symbolic origin of lilies is that the flower was dedicated to Hera, wife of Zeus who's tales of infidelity are omnipresent throughout ancient Greek history. Meanwhile, the tulips mentioned in line 24 symbolize perfect love; this doesn't make sense until one notes that the tulips are "stretched away from each other extreme in the old vase"; the old vase with the person praying on it symbolizing marriage.

           I chose to analyze this poem to introduce the reader to the many symbolic meanings throughout the entirety of Old's collection. Throughout the rest of the section I would like to bring to attention the amount Old's mentions of clocks, faces (and their juxtaposition to backs), Orion and other stars, and the darkness or nighttime.

             I would also like to mention "Stag's Leap" since this poem is what the collection was named after. Stag's Leap alludes to the choice wine that was Olds' and her  husband's favorite. It is a red wine is a connotation of passion and is normally paired with red meat. In this poem, Old's describes her husband as the stag and plead for him to be careful when he bounds away. This plead summarizes the mood of the first section quite nicely; she grieves for the loss of her marriage while still loving her husband. I would like the reader to consider this poem when reading the rest of the book and how Old's changes through the course of events. I will post about the Winter section promptly.

            -Nicki Clifford